All Souls Charlottesville

Three months ago, we moved to Charlottesville, Virginia. The transition has been slow and bumpy and beautiful and rich. It takes years, I think, to truly be part of the fabric of a place. But we are on our way. We love our city. We love our neighbors. We love the conversations we are having and the people we are meeting.

We are helping to form a new church community here, and I’m eager to introduce our new tribe to you:


We are just in the early stages, meeting people and learning our city’s story. Some friends have moved with us, and a few more are coming over the next months. A few new C’ville friends are joining in. We imagine the formation of All Souls will be slow and prayerful with lots of listening and paying attention to what it looks like to be a people living with open hearts toward each other and toward our city. You can peek at our new web home, though we probably won’t have much up there for a bit.

A Prayer and a Letter to Our New President

An old prayer that seems most appropriate for today:

Lord God Almighty, you have made all the peoples of the earth for your glory, to serve you in freedom and in peace: Give to the people of our country a zeal for justice and the strength of forbearance, that we may use our liberty in accordance with your gracious will; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.

And a letter:

Dear President-elect,

Senators McCain and Obama, by this time tomorrow, one of you should be (barring some repeat nightmare from 2000, God forbid) our new leader. The mass chain emails and numerous recorded phone calls we’ve received tell us this is the most important election in my lifetime. Of course, I think I’ve heard this every election in my lifetime, but I will not argue that this is indeed a pivotal moment in our national life. Contrary to the shrill cries and the numerous blog posts and the vast amounts of literature filling my mailbox and the many youtube videos currently jamming my feeds on facebook, I think both of you are good, decent men who want to serve your country. You have different visions of America in several important places, but I do not question your motives or your integrity. I don’t question your character. I even have this sneaking suspicion you guys would enjoy grilling out together if you were neighbors (and I’d certainly enjoy grilling out with both of you if we were neighbors – let’s see if we can make that happen after all the hullabaloo dies down).

Senator McCain, I am thankful for your long history of acting on your principles, on doing what you say. I admire your courage and your willingness to give yourself to causes you believe in, even when it costs you dearly. I am thankful that your impulse is to call America to our best ideals. Senator, if you are elected today, please speak out strongly against those who have peddled fear and untruths in their opposition to your opponent, even if you do not believe they spoke for you. There has been a venom in this campaign that scars our ability to live together as a people – please speak and act against hatred and dishonesty wherever it raises its ugly head, even (perhaps especially) when the net result is that it helps your cause. Truly, the ends never justify the means. Also, please think deeply about issues of health care and poverty, recognizing the moral dimension to these difficult problems. Please pull in the best minds, the smartest advisers. Please pull in people from all persuasions and parties to find common ground and truly tackle these blights in our country. And please, please wrestle deeply with the moral implications of war. Consider if perhaps there is a new way to look at these very old issues of how to deal with nations who have evil intent. I pray God will give you wisdom as you lead us.

Senator Obama, I am thankful for how you seem to draw the best out of so many people. I am thankful for the hope I have seen among people who for a very long time have felt alienated from the system. I am thankful for how you wrestle with tough issues and how you resist the quick and easy answer to what we must know are often very complex problems. I love how you love your family – that may be my favorite thing about you. Senator, if you are elected today, please reconsider your stance on abortion. I do understand that people of conscience and faith can have varying views on this, and I do understand that confronting some of the root causes of abortion may perhaps have more long term impact than only legal solutions. However, please take a new look at some of the most extreme issues at play. Surely we can agree that a baby born and breathing ought be protected, no matter the parent’s intent. I know you care for the weak and defenseless. Please understand how many of us see these children as the most weak and defenseless – this is an issue of justice. Also, please hear those who have differing economic and justice philosophies – and know that there is often agreement on the hope for the common good, but simply disagreement on how to achieve that common good. As you work for a way out in Iraq, please make sure that the innocent civilians are protected and do not pay an even higher price for our mistakes – and please work hard so we do not leave behind a breeding ground for terror. And please resist the extremes in your party who like to demonize the opposition, no matter whether you think they speak for you or not. You are the party’s leader, and we need our leaders to lead. You have spoken often of a third way. Now, please forge that path. I pray God will give you wisdom as you lead us.

Senators Obama and McCain, I don’t envy your job, whatever job you end up with tomorrow. I can’t imagine the weariness you feel or the energy you have exerted the past two years. For whichever of you end up a resident of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, I pray that you listen to good advisers and follow your best instincts. I pray you resist the allure of power and the temptations and cynicism that seem to plague the political inner sanctum. I pray that you lead us forward with a fresh vision, with moral clarity and with a strong hope for the common good of our whole nation, all our citizens. And I hope you won’t be offended if I tell you that, even with all the good I hope you do over the next four years, my ultimate hope is another King and another kingdom.

grace and godspeed,

Winn

4 Years Later, Holy Curiosity Hits the Shelves

I can’t wait to share this day with you. I’m really excited.

After four years of work and frustration and joy, my third book (Holy Curiosity: Encountering Jesus’ Provocative Questions) has hit the shelves. This book has been percolating for a while, even while other projects have been released. This one took some time to work its way into my soul, to find its voice. In Restless Faith, I gave space to my honest questions about faith and God. However, I was drawn to Holy Curiosity when I began to realize that I wasn’t the only one with questions – Jesus had a few of his own, questions he would like to ask me.

As I made my way through the Gospels, I was intrigued on multiple levels: 1) how Jesus often asked a question rather than providing an answer 2) how Jesus (God in flesh) could be truly curious – not using it as a ruse or simply a teaching technique, but truly curious 3) how this curiosity speaks to our deep human need for connection, for relationship – we humans simply aren’t curious enough of one another’s stories, and Jesus models for us another way.

So, I rummaged around 9 of Jesus’ questions (for example: Who Condemns You?, Why Are You Afraid?, My God, Why Have You Abandoned Me?, Are You Confused?, What Do You Want?) and tried to hear them fresh, wondering what those questions would look like in my context, in my story. Where would these questions take me? How would I hear them, and what would I do with them?

I’m writing to ask for your help. Common wisdom says that this community, my blog friends, will be the front lines of whether or not I’m able to spread the word. This publishing thing really is all about networks and friends and grass-roots. Would you consider helping one or more of the following ways?

[1] Would you consider purchasing my book on Amazon today?
If enough people buy in a short time frame, it garners attention. I’d love to hit the top 1,000 for a day. Maybe even some Christmas purchases? The Amazon discount is about as good as you will find, and if you spend $25 the shipping is even free. Please use this link for your purchase.

[2] Would you post a review on Amazon?


[3] Perhaps most importantly, would you consider passing this info (or your version) along to 10 of your friends?
Word of mouth is my best chance at generating interest.

Also, in the next few days, a podcast of the book release event at New Dominion Bookshop as well as a sample chapter should be posted. Thanks for considering helping…

Peace,
Winn


Jefferson on Hope and Fear

I’ve been reading a biography on Thomas Jefferson. Of course I have – our home sits under the shadow of Monticello, and silhouette images of Jefferson (with cohorts Madison and Monroe flanking) scatter our city. Before we moved, more than one person talked about the “ghost of Jefferson” that pervaded the ethos of Charlottesville. Jefferson founded UVA, and the architectural grace of the place speaks “Jefferson” ever bit as much as the university’s philosophical roots.

There’s a lot that could be said about Jefferson, much to admire as well as much to regret. I respect his commitment to freedom, but I wince at how that freedom stopped abruptly short for slaves and women. I resonate with his passion for classical learning, but I can not share his trust in the ultimate power of reason. I love his desire to build “an academical village,” but I notice how his idealogical commitments at times kept him from seeing truth in places he didn’t want to look.

I’ve run across pieces of wisdom I want to ponder. I will share one. In 1816, Jefferson wrote one of his many letter to John Adams. I steer my bark with Hope in the head, leaving Fear astern. I like that. Alot. I think our world needs these words; I know I need these words.

All You Need to Know

My old nemesis doubt has snarled at me yet again in recent days. I’m not surprised; we’re naturally floundering a bit as we make our way in this new place, feeling the geographic disconnection from the deep friendships that have sustained us over the past years. There’s more reasons, I know (tiredness, the necessary process of wrestling with new questions and contexts, etc. etc.). The bottom line, though, is that I have just felt that numbing, vague hollowing of my soul.

My first response in seasons of doubt is to rev the intellectual engines. Find an answer. Scratch around for more proofs. Connect with a philosophical voice that calms my anxious heart. There’s a place for bending the mind, absolutely. Ignorance is not our friend. However, I’ve peddled around those circles enough to know that they just keep going round and round and round. For me, hope is not found in a rational repose but in an inflamed heart. Eleven years ago, when I foolishly freaked out about whether or not I should marry Miska, my doubt and fear was not, at its core, a matter of proofs and logic. It was a matter of desire. What did I want? What did my heart beat for? It’s the same here. As a friend recently told me, “All you need to know is what you love.”

My doubts (in this season at least) aren’t signals that I need to better wrestle with my questions. Rather, my doubts make their way from a heart that has not surrendered to love. I find hope in Mother Theresa’s words (who said if she would ever be declared a saint, it would have to be as a “saint of darkness”): “My key to heaven is that I loved Jesus in the night.”

In the night, I loved. Not just in the day. Not just amid the answer. But I loved Jesus, in the night. That is my hope, my prayer.

On Fatherhood

Have you heard me say it? I love being a dad.

Being a father touches my deepest hopes (and, truthfully, triggers some of my darkest fears). I want to love these boys with my full self, to give them all my heart, to see them and know them, to help them see their true name, to help them make their way in this screwy world.

Last week, Wyatt pulled up his courage and walked into his first grade classroom by himself (some early trauma his first week of school had made this quite an ordeal). I sat in the car, watching him trot down this sidewalk, backpack bobbing up and down – Wyatt strolling like he owned the school. I was so proud of him, and I was sad – before long he won’t want me to walk him to class (which, I guess, is a good thing – dad dropping him off in 10th grade might be odd).

Today, Seth turned 5. I love that little buddy of mine. Yesterday, I took him to the Timberlake drug store and soda fountain downtown. We went into the 1950’s style establishment and made our way to the back where you can still sit at the counter in vinyl-red covered spinning stools. Seth ordered a chocolate coke (yup) and an oatmeal cream pie. I loved sitting there, chatting with him, enjoying his wide-grin. When we were walking downtown, Seth did what he usually does – he slipped his hand in mine, easy and natural. And we just walked and talked. I hope we always walk and talk, until I am too old for either.

Party @ New Dominion

If you are near C’ville (or if you’re up for a road trip), Holy Curiosity will release @ New Dominion Bookshop Thursday night, October 16th @ 6.00 p.m. We’ll have a reading, some Q and A and a signing. Maybe Seth will dance for us if he gets amped up. New Dominion is on the downtown mall. Just come and look for the party.

For the rest of us, I will post here as soon as the book is available on Amazon – it will be a huge help if a mass of people purchase the book within a few days. I’d love to nudge past some of the 1980’s chemistry textbooks in the sales rankings…

And, a while back, we had a small contest to give-away four early galley copies of the book. Melissa Hansen snagged one of them, and here are her kind remarks:

What an amazing gift to be able to hear a speaker’s and a writer’s voice develop. Winn is a dear friend and shepherd and it has truly been my privilege to hear his voice grow, change, and deepen as his own journey has taken him to new places.

Holy Curiosity, in my opinion, is hearing his writer’s voice at a new level. With the ending of each chapter, I longed to continue reading, to hear more of his heart and what he would say, entwined with the questions of the Christ. If I have any complaint about the book, it is that it was too short. I wanted to continue to hear more of what Winn would say in his Winn-way with his redeemed heart discussing Jesus’ questions.

It was also interesting for me to read Holy Curiosity because I had been a part of the community where Winn first began to explore Jesus’ questions in a sermon series. I enjoyed the series, but I enjoyed reading Holy Curiosity much more. Perhaps the difference is that the ideas were taken to the next level, or perhaps the fact that I was alone with the book rather than in a community of listeners. But no matter what, I found that my own experience echoed in the characters of Scripture to whom Jesus asked these profound, soul-searching questions. I found my struggles, heartache, sin, and searching in Christ’s questions and I also found something of who God is forming me to be (and has been forming me to be) in the encounters Winn explores. It was a profound experience when I would allow Christ to speak through words he spoke long ago in a very different context.

Holy Curiosity will be a book I will re-read and which will shape my understanding and knowledge of who Christ is and His loving approach toward others as well as myself. I hope you also find truth and life in Winn’s words as he echoes the heart of Christ toward humanity. I know if you take your time and allow the words to speak to you, they will speak, and Jesus’ questions from hundreds and hundreds of years ago, will touch your soul in ways you never imagined.

Thank you, Winn. What a privilege to hear your voice again.

{another response went out to the facebook group and more will follow – join us over there…if you’re curious}

Anger and Jest

Crises bring out our fear; they also bring out our humor. As John Q. Public has seethed, the comments left on the fast-paced string of articles at news outlets has been, well, entertaining. I offer just two I’ve enjoyed:

You mean you might actually have to pay for the services that you want now? Dear heavens no… I don’t have credit card debt. I don’t have a mortgage. I don’t have school loans. I have a single car loan. Come and get it… I’ll walk…

This is a crisis we will tell our grandchildren about. Let us hope we are not telling the story at the mouth of a cave while munching on roots and fighting the dog for his bone.

Anybody else have some to share? Maybe your own?

Warren Buffett Wisdom

Call my crazy, I’ve always had a small fetish for economics, investing, capital markets, etc. I even was a stock broker for a couple years in Denver. I’ve been trying to make sense (as most everyone has) of the credit meltdown and its cataclysmic domino effect.

Warren Buffett, one of our wisest financial voices, did a 30 minute interview on CNBC, and he explains a couple of the angles of what we are up against (and solutions) about as good as anyone I’ve heard. One thing I found very interesting was his belief that this bailout may well actually end up being a profitable investment for the government coffers. Buffet’s words: “If I could borrow 700 billion at treasury rates [the interest rate the government will pay for the capital to make this investment, aka “bailout”] to buy these assets at these prices, I’d be doing it.”

(this is 30 minutes long, but the first 10 give a good overall perspective)

For God I Row

Keep yourself from continually converting your occupations into disturbances and anxieties of spirit. Even if you are being tossed around on the waves and blown about by the winds of many perplexities, look up constantly and say to our Lord: “O God, it is for you that I row and for you I sail; you are my guide and my helmsman!” {Padre Pio}

How difficult it is to give ourselves to peace, to calmly rest in the heart and power and purposes of God. Most mornings recently, I awake refreshed and eager for the day. It isn’t long, though, before some fear or worry or pressure pushes against my soul. What do I do then?

Unfortunately, too often I run off after the angst. Thing is, though, no matter how hard I run, I will never never catch that ol’ fox.

Much of my anxiety and frantic activity comes from the fact that I do not hold to God as my true center. I buy into the lie that my identity depends on my ability to produce, to make something happen. If I am a good dad, a devoted husband…If people take me seriously as a writer…If my books sell…If I lead well in this process of forming a new spiritual community…If I’m witty and smart and keep losing weight… Lots of ifs there. It’s enough to keep me sprinting, always sprinting, heart and soul and mind always darting about. Never at rest.

Thing is, I don’t (or don’t want to) live to produce. I don’t live to be noticed, to secure approval. At my core, I’m a simple bloke – you’ll just find me: a man whose full hope leans on the belief (with doubts and questions and screwups still intact) that God is and that God is for us and that God has created us for immense goodness. Connected to that truth, I am free to discover who God has truly made me – to unshackle my true self and walk into the wild wind and the brilliant sun: bold, care-free, unguarded. I don’t live to have people like my writing. I write because the art is in me; and to be true, I must give it away. I love my boys because my heart is for them; and I want to live from my heart. I am madly in love with Miska – not because I’ve set out to be a romantic throwback – but because a mystery has captured me, the mystery of deep communion when two people give themselves, soul and body, to each other.

And this is what I believe – all this comes from God, a gift. Just a gift. Open the hands and receive.

But when I feel I am losing grip on any of my “roles” (husband, friend, dad, writer, pastor) – that’s when I’m tempted to thrash about, to work and get busy and pace around, to just do something, for crying out loud. And the noise grows deafening. The fear kicks in. It’s a mess.

What I want to do in these panicky places is to remember. To remember who I live for, what I live for: God, whose heart is immensely good. I love for God. I write for God. I hope for God.

And, then, let go of the rest.

Calm yourself. Don’t pay any attention to these vain and useless fears. Fill the emptiness of your heart with an ardent love for Jesus. {Padre Pio}

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