This morning as the family cleared the breakfast table, Miska put her arms around me and pulled herself in close. Seth, mouth still stuffed with bagel and cream cheese, made an observation. “Puppy love.”
“No,” Miska answered (and here you’ll have to imagine the sultry Spanish accent she carried), “No, this is a long love affair.” Then, to my delight, she leaned even closer and left a sweet gift with her lips. Seth, as any 9 year old boy should, groaned and buried his face in his hands. I sat there grinning and perky, taken off guard but hoping against hope that this breakfast banter wasn’t the end of things.
There was a stretch in our marriage when a morning simply couldn’t have gone like this. There was too much ice, too many questions, too much loneliness. The first four years of our marriage had been spectacular in almost every conceivable way, but life grows and love changes – and if you don’t go along for the ride, you’ll find yourself lying in bed with a stranger.
Through a multi-year traverse, a story maybe we’ll sit down and tell fully someday, we clawed our way back to a truly shared space. Back to the long love affair. Now, we’re in the days when we make our boys squirm because of our flirtatious amore. We’re in the days when even breakfast gets exciting every now and then.
Truth is the essence of teaching ourselves what true marriage is. Marriage is not perfect nor is it easy. It is messy and it is hard work. And then there are the mornings when a kiss brings back all the reasons you entered into this covenant in the first place. May God continue to bless your marriage. I cannot wait for the day when you and Miska decide to combine your creative efforts and co-write a book about relationships!
Maybe one of these days another kiss will lead to a book. Stranger things have happened…
Here’s what happens when you have a 2 year old nipping at your ankles… you write sentences like “Truth is the essence of teaching ourselves what true marriage is”, instead of writing what you mean – “Truth telling is how we teach our kids what a real marriage looks like.”
Happens to the best of us
i read these words a few days ago, winn, and they have been haunting me ever since.
thank you for this post. it speaks to deep places.
Kelli, so glad to hear this. Thank you for pausing to tell me.
I’ve never been here before but I wanted to tell you that this piece of writing really touched me. There is raw truth here and in just a few words you painted a perfect picture of married love. Just beautiful. And I love the Buechner quote on your home page. Wow. I need time to just soak in that. Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you, Danelle
Lovely, Winn. Glad you fought your way back to each other, because sometimes that is what it takes. And yes, I’ve been there. More than once.
indeed, Diane. Merely one snapshot. It’s a series of returnings, isn’t it?